Money…. we love it, we worry about it, we fear it, we can’t live without it. Money is entwined with all aspects of our lives; it is tightly wrapped up with our sense of security and esteem.
What are most of us fearful of when it comes to our money? Not having enough, losing it, and managing debt. We tend not to have open communication between partners and family members about our money fears simply because we do not know how to approach the subject. This leads to wrong assumptions, complications, family arguments and in some cases divorce.
How do we develop a healthy and powerful relationship with money that ultimately leads to living an extraordinary life?
Step one; how do you view your money?
What stories do you tell yourself when you are handling money or making decisions having to do with your money? A friend shared a story about his view of his money that he did not discover until his late 40’s. When he was 4 years old, he was caught rummaging through his mom’s purse and was holding dollar bills in his hands when his parents entered the room and scolded him for holding the money. Jump 20 years later, he struggled with his money. When he had it, he thought he should give it away, and most times, when he did not have it, he lived pay check to pay check and constantly struggled with paying off debt. In his 40’s he started to understand his relationship with money and why he always felt “stuck.” He realized it was because of this event that he experienced when he was a young boy; if he had money it was considered “bad.” It’s amazing how our brains, and maybe even our cells, remember these patterns and unless you identify them as just a possible story and change the drift, it may be difficult to build a better relationship with your money. How you think about your money can offer a significant breakthrough in your relationship with money.
Step two; create a new story, why not?
Isn’t everything we do just a story that we create about our lives or other’s around us? What stories are you or your family stuck with? How is your brain trying to protect you? The minute you clear away where you have been stuck, it automatically clears your brain to create a story that now serves you. If you have all the basic necessities of life, what would be important about your money? What would you love to do in your life now? How can your money support this? This is not an easy exercise and it takes time, but it’s well worth it in order to create a pathway to an extraordinary life. Managing money and having conversations with your partners, family, or friends becomes very exciting when you align your money with how you want to live your best life. Yes, balance sheets, cash flow, analytics, economy, markets are all important, but they are not the foundation to creating a great plan for your money.
Step three; create success.
Dr. Maria Nemeth, Founder & Director of the Academy for Coaching Excellence, says success is doing what you said you would do consistently with Clarity, Focus, Ease, Grace, and Gratitude. Clarity - get clear about your goals and what will serve you best NOW and understand where your money is, how you are spending it, and where it may not be aligning with your current values or goals. Focus - have laser focus on your new pathway for your money and don’t become distracted by your past stories. Ease into your plan. This is not something that you will achieve all at once. Take small, consistent steps towards what you love, this way you won’t get burned out. Grace - being able to see the blessings around us. It’s much easier for our brain to focus on what’s not working instead of the blessings that surround us - this is a practice. Gratitude - be grateful for all the experiences that have brought you to this place - they all serve a purpose when creating an extraordinary life with your money.
If you enjoyed this article, you may be interested in “Take a Journey to Financial Confidence,” a 7-week educational journey to discover your financial confidence; creating clarity, focus, ease, grace and gratitude around your money and your life, hosted by Ciccarelli Advisory Services. Beginning on Wednesday, April 20th, the virtual sessions will be held on Wednesdays, for one hour, and are in support of the non-profit SpelLIFE Women’s Wellness Summit (www.spellife.org).